New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize