so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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