as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
