I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
