How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize