can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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