I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
