i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
