you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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