Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize