I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
