i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
