Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
