Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
