y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize