The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
