playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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