I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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