Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
