just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
