I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
