Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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