you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize