This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
