If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
