i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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