Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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