My brain says no but my pants say off.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
