That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
