I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
