Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Welp...herpes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
