i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
