I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
