YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
