Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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