this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
