I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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