sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize