Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
