Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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