I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
