Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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