She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Come on in and take your pants off
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