Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
