Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
