Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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