people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm always down for nudity.
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