New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
