South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize