absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
