I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she woke up with a sticky ear
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
