they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
