the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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