the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
