soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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