Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
