found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
