My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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