so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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