dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
