He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
