was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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