Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
