a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
