I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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